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Friday, December 23, 2011

At the Vets

At the Vets:
“What do you feed her on, mate?”
“She gets what I get!” “Last night she had Indian.”
“No wonder she is farting like a trooper!”
“She got Mexican the night before!”
“Do you give her chocolate?”
“Oh yeah! She gets two or three Mars bars or Flakes a day!”
“Do you exercise her?”
“Yeah, a bit. She gets ten minutes here and there throughout the day.”
“She’s only a year old, no wonder you can’t control her!”

Conversation heard at A&E

At A&E:
“Stick a finger up your ‘ole’ and swivel!”
“I don’t care what I say or what anyone else ‘ears me saying; they can shove it up their fucking arses”
“These chairs are like in Police Cells except there warmer. There really ‘ard in the cells and cold. These ones are warmer, but still fucking uncomfortable.”
“Ere, give us a fag. Does anyone want a fight? – I’ll give ‘em a fucking fight!”